How Elite Gets into NYC's Best Schools, According to Top Insider

In a city where educational success coupled with one's relationships is often viewed as a guide to future opportunities, securing a spot at one of New York City's prestigious private schools can be extremely competitive.

Enter Dana Haddad, an admissions consultant who has become an invaluable advisor to high-profile families trying to navigate the city's elite school landscape. With her extensive educational background, she has the expertise necessary to provide students with access to some of the best academic institutions in the country – and even the world. But Haddad, who lives in New York City and focuses her services there, said that while many of these schools offer prestige, they can incur emotional costs when things go wrong, and that it's important to place every student in the right place them.

The admissions counselor opened up Newsweek about how the elite get their children into the best schools and how they work with them to ensure that every child is suitable for their future alma mater.

“Parents always want what I call 'cocktail party schools,' the schools that draw admiration at social gatherings… They're looking for ways to make their child and their family stand out,” said Haddad, a private admissions consultant with New York Admissions , told Newsweek. “But my job is to balance those wishes with what is truly best for the child.”

“Parents are looking for advice because they want to position themselves in the best possible way for many of these facilities.”

The approval process

The application process for admission to one of New York's most elite schools can be particularly daunting for families unfamiliar with the system. Aware of the discrepancy between what parents often want and what is best for their child, Haddad's first stop is helping her clients find the balance between a student's desires and their parents' expectations.

“What the parents want is not always what’s best for the children,” Haddad said. “But most parents come to me to learn more about their children’s needs and strengths.

“At the end of the day, you don’t want to set your child up for failure; They want it to be successful, and so the schools that parents initially want often change after we discuss their child's strengths and weaknesses.”

Once both the student and their eager-to-learn parent are on the same page, Haddad's consultation process continues with work to understand both the student's and parent's desires.

“We start with a meeting with the parents to understand the child and what the family believes is important for their education,” she said. “We then create a school list that is often filled with the 'cocktail party schools' – the prestigious institutions that attract admiring glances at assemblies.

“Parents often want their children to attend schools with good academic performance and robust extracurricular programs, but they also need to consider their child’s personality and individual needs.”

After long conversations focused on finding schools that match the child's abilities and goals, Haddad's attention now turns to the practical part of the admissions process: the exams.

Preparation is often multifaceted and includes tutoring for entrance exams such as ISEE or SSAT, interview coaching, and developing a compelling narrative that highlights the child's unique strengths, extracurricular interests, and talents.

“It’s important to be versatile,” Haddad said. “The exams are just one piece of the puzzle.

“These top schools also take student interviews, parent interviews, teacher recommendations and student testimonials into account.”

Many of these schools also check to see who has “advocated” for the child, and kind words from Haddad, who has a wealth of experience in education, certainly don’t hurt.

Despite the similarities, the process varies depending on the age group. Haddad works with families applying to programs for toddlers through high school students, but the way she initially supports each client is always the same.

“Regardless of age, the process always begins with understanding the child and what is important to the family,” she said.

Navigating through unknown terrain

After Haddad's work turns to preparing students for entrance exams and interviews, she also prepares their parents so they know what to expect. According to the counselor, students must take entrance exams as early as kindergarten, which become increasingly standardized from second to fourth grade. Over the years they become more and more difficult.

Due to the competitive nature of these exams, additional tutoring and preparation are often required, which can provide a sense of relief to both students and parents and can go a long way.

“Parents can’t always get what they want and quickly realize that their friends are their competition,” she said.

While she declined to reveal her clients' names for confidentiality reasons, Haddad's clients include wealthy and well-known public figures, often from prominent family backgrounds. However, she also works at reduced rates for clients with financial constraints, helping them navigate the admissions process and receive financial aid at their dream school.

“I help them do their best and make sure they have the best chance of being accepted and supported,” said Haddad, whose discounted rates depend on her clients’ ability to pay. “My services are not just aimed at ‘wealthy’ families.”

Haddad worked as a classroom teacher for five years before moving to the admissions department at Horace Mann School, one of the top schools in New York City, where she also studied at a young age. After a transformative time in Horace Mann's admissions department, Haddad moved to a brand new school tasked with recruiting students and designing the curriculum.

“That’s when I realized parents needed counseling,” she said. “They didn’t know what they didn’t know about the private school admissions process.”

Are private schools a dying breed?

These elite schools like Horace Mann, Trinity School, and Spence School charge tuition of over $60,000 per year. But what do these incredibly expensive schools offer? Haddad said that on a practical level, they come with smaller class sizes, personalized attention, expanded academic programs and strong school communities that provide lifelong networks.

But the adviser is clear that the appeal of these schools, in addition to the promise of better academic support, lies in the idea that they offer children advancement in life, privileges, useful connections and a safer learning environment that protects students from the Ugliness protects the real world.

Although elite schools have faced backlash in recent years and the college admissions scandal made headlines overturning the bribes paid by a handful of families to get their children into top universities, demand for Haddad's expert services continues to grow .

In 2022, 10 percent of American schoolchildren were enrolled in private institutions. Nearly 40 percent of Harvard's freshman class of 2025 and over 40 percent of Dartmouth's class of 2026 were private school students. Of Yale's most recent graduates, the Class of 2024, 19 percent attended an independent day school, while 5 percent attended a boarding school.

A 2023 study by a group of Harvard economists specializing in inequality found that Ivy League colleges currently have “many” more students from high-income families than from low-income families because those colleges favored the children of graduates and children from private schools rated nonacademic assessments higher.

Haddad said people were able to see that the 2019 admissions scandal, also known as the “Varsity Blues” scandal, was an isolated incident and had nothing at all to do with the services she and others in her field intended to provide.

“Every year we expand because demand increases,” Haddad said. “Families hear about their friends’ successes and want the same support for their children.

“I don’t do business or manipulate the system, I just help families be their best selves consistent with the schools’ goals and my families go through the process with integrity,” she said.

This growing demand underscores the continued relevance and value of private school education, despite the skepticism that is often viewed as an irrelevant factor in a child's future success.

For Haddad, her work has longevity – and meaning. From kindergarten through high school, she often stays in touch with her families. One success story involved a high-achieving student whose identity Haddad wants to keep secret. With the counselor's help, the student got into the college of his dreams, even though he was struggling with personal challenges at the time.

She believes her services will always be big business because while most parents want the best for their children, not all are knowledgeable about the admissions process. Haddad is proud of her special expertise and of finding a place where a child can thrive.

“In short, my job is to help them find the facility where their child will be most successful,” she said. “And I’m incredibly lucky to have this job. I can help children get a good education and give their families peace of mind.”